Shark Week: 7 Shows & Movies That Would’ve Been Better With Sharks
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As KCPR’s Shark Week falls upon us, it has come to my attention that a disappointing amount of shark-related media does not, in fact, include actual sharks.
Shark Tank? Not a real, live shark in sight. The San Jose Sharks? There’s not one actual shark on that team!
We may have Shark Week and Jaws, but make no mistake — shark representation in the media is still seriously lacking. Here are a few shows and movies that would be significantly improved by the simple presence of a shark:
Sex Education
Yeah, this Netflix original may be funny, but you know what would be better? Shark Education. Can you name the 465 species of sharks? Can you tell the difference between a dorsal and pectoral film? Our country is severely lacking in basic shark ed.
How to get Away With Murder
While shark attacks — especially fatal ones — are rare, they do happen. And yet, no shark has ever been arrested. Clearly, they’re experts at skirting around the justice system.
The Avengers
Sharkboy could have been a revolutionary addition to the superhero crew (okay, technically not a Marvel character, but still). They have a raccoon, but they won’t allow a shark? Seems biased against marine animals, if you ask me.
Parks and Recreation
What’s better than Parks and Rec? Sharks and Rec. An underwater setting is so much more interesting than a plain old office. Besides, it’s about time we elected our first shark representative.
Riverdale
Honestly, there’s so much going on in this show that they may as well just add a shark at this point. Nobody would even bat an eyelash.
House Hunters
Just like the original, except the real estate agent is a shark. Couples would decide between tile floors much faster with a firm, but well-meaning shark breathing down their necks. Plus, there’s the potential for new, cutting-edge underwater homes.
Shark Tank
Come on. You can’t have a show called Shark Tank and not include sharks. It’s simply false advertising.
Although sharks have gradually seen more representation across media over the years — Finding Nemo and Shark Tales were landmark pieces in shark history, no doubt — shark portrayals are sadly still rare. If we are ever to overcome the painful stereotype of angry, blood-obsessed sea monsters, we must do better. I dream of a day when sharks are as beloved as the sitcom’s family dog, when shark merchandise skyrockets, and when sharks are recognized as the complex, intelligent creatures they are.
Kelly Martinez is a KCPR staff member and Cal Poly Journalism senior. She wrote the article. Pamela Moidel is a Cal Poly Graphic Design senior and a KCPR DJ. She created the artwork.