Bike anarchists are taking over SLO
Summer Fitzgerald is a Cal Poly senior and KCPR Content writer. The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect those of MMG.
Attention: if you or someone you know has been personally victimized by bike riders in San Luis Obispo, then you are in luck. The city has just updated its patrol to stop bikers from violating road rules and regulations.
It’s about time law enforcement stepped up to the plate to control this problem — it has been far too long that bikers have run rampant through the streets of SLO without any respect for the law.
They may start out by rolling through stop signs — I’ll even admit to occasionally performing “California stops” in my car — but before you know it, bikers are running red lights between cars of cross traffic.
Although bike riders are considered vehicle operators, they casually swap their identity between a driver and a pedestrian depending on whether the light turns green or the crosswalk goes off first. Identity theft is no joke.
In reference to the safety of motor vehicle drivers and pedestrians, bikers are encouraged not to wear headphones, wear a helmet and have a light for driving at night. Commonly, people avoid all three of these safety tips to avoid looking lame.
Although I cannot agree that helmet hair looks good on anyone, helmets are meant to protect our precious noggins. Our youth cannot afford to lose any more brain cells when they spend all their time on TikTok watching Capybara videos.
With the rise of electric bikes around town, it has become even more terrifying to be a car on the road. I would barely trust myself to operate that vehicle, much less the many 13-year-olds I see driving them. While I catch many of them popping wheelies at 40 miles per hour, at least they are wearing helmets.
Cal Poly has shown favor towards the bike riders by establishing air pumps throughout campus. Students have even started a tradition of riding lawlessly throughout the streets of downtown on what they have deemed “bike night” or “bike happening.” Dressed in horrendous attire ranging from golden speedos to banana costumes, they look like a circus on wheels.
Don’t even get me started on the guys who ride the motorized wheel as if they are playing live-action Mario Kart.
The community needs to take matters into its own hands. There is only one way to keep bikers off the roads: air horns.
